It’s been two months since Miko and I have talked. I really miss him, he was (and still is I hope) my best friend. I just wish we could talk again…Then again, I can’t deny I felt something when he kissed me. I felt so horrible about it, and avoiding him isn’t doing anything positive for our relationship. I decided to go to his house and talk to him about it.
On the way there I contemplated my decisions that I had to make and the ones I knew I had to make in the future. If Miko kept feeling this way, I would eventually have to choose.
My thoughts seemed to overwhelm me, and as I stood in front of his door, the familiar smell of his family did too. I rang the doorbell. He let me in a minute later.
“Hey Miko. How are you?”
“I’m doing okay Amelia…better than I have been.”
“Are you alright? What’s going on?”
“Well I did something really messed up and lost my best friend because of it.”
I sighed. Hearing Miko’s regret made me feel sorry for him. I couldn’t blame him. We had been friends since the first day of kindergarten. My mother used to tell me I would be beautiful when I grew up, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when I caught more than just friendly glances from guys.
“Miko…I’m so sorry…I should have called earlier. I would have, I just tho–”
“Save it Amelia. I want to move on from what happened. I miss you”
I smiled, and we fell into silence, though it wasn’t awkward. It was a moment of clarity for both of us. We never really had any other friends, or if we did, never had any close ones. During the silence, my mind wandered to the days we would be out during recess in the sand. My thoughts were interrupted.
“I have to go back to my homework. My grades have to be good for that job I want after school.”
“Of course. It’s a good job. I’ll see you at school.”
We hugged, and I felt the strength of our relationship growing back to how it was.
Miko and I resumed our friendship like nothing happened. We hung out, studied for tests together, pranked everyone, and shared secrets. Or at least he did. I never revealed the details about my relationship with Spencer. Over the weeks and months, Spencer and I had gotten very serious. We started getting really physical, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. I was caught up in the whirlwind of ‘young love’. Spencer took care of me, since he had graduated before me and had a job to support himself.
When spring break came, all hell broke loose. My father went away on a vacation, and my sister was out of town with friends. That meant Spencer and I had my house all to ourselves. We were all over the place, the shower, hot tub, bed, anywhere. The whole week was one hot and steamy session. I admit we weren’t safe 100% of the time, but it didn’t seem to matter. We were young and having fun.
My fun seemed to be cut short, when one morning the bell rang. It was a social worker. I had completely forgotten about my pets while Spencer was over. She yelled at me and took my beautiful companions. I was devastated.
My problems didn’t stop there. One morning, I woke up, and got sick..and the next morning too. How could I do this to myself?